Cherry Picking: A Story of Community

Sitting in a business meeting, first one back from a summer pause,

enormous heavy rectangle of wood makes circle conversation a challenge.

As is our practice, my partner invites a check-in,

“Share an experience of community.”

Talking piece chosen.  Stories begin.

 

Hearing five thousand international drummers and pipers play on the field in Glasgow.

Having her picture taken dozens of times on the Great Wall by scores of Chinese students, and loving it – this photo shy, tall and fair haired woman.

Witnessing her neighbor’s family bring an experience of “Canadian cabin county”  to the recently settled Syrian family.

Celebrating every summer weekend festival our Festival City has on offer.

 

Mine, a simple tale – embellished here – of walking in my neighborhood and the moment of community that unfolded. 

Usually accompanied by our Annie dog, these past weeks I’ve gone solo as she’s been at dog camp, running to her heart’s content over the prairies.  Depending on our route, I can pass by a bungalow with a beautiful cherry tree in the front yard.

Spring time, my attention is caught by its bursting white blossoms, their soft fragrance adding to the gift of our encounter.

Weeks pass, I’m lost in my thoughts, or noticing the shift of clouds, or the remarkably early tulips and lilacs and forsythia.  Not much happening on the cherry tree I notice, giving it a passing glance, until a few weeks ago.

Suddenly this elegantly shaped tree is now lusciously full of glistening scarlet globes nestled among emerald green leaves, a regal standout against the azure sky.  Evans cherries, a prairie-hardy sour variety, rediscovered a few decades ago just north of here.  Wished I’d had my phone to take a picture. Wished I had an invitation to pick some for a pie.

Then a week ago, just that happened.  I had my phone and poised to snap a picture I heard, “Do you wanna pick some cherries?”

Hand shielding my eyes from the setting sun, I hear before I see,  Janet, the owner of the tree.

“I have a ladder and could help you, if you want to pick the rest of these.  I have my fill.”

Well, I tell her, I’d love to, in fact, this is a dream come true as I’d thought of knocking on her door to ask if I may.  I take her phone number and promise to call before coming over the next day.

Loaded with a dishpan and couple of pails – whatever I could find as good enough cherry containers – I made the three-minute drive and there was Janet, ready to help me pick.

Not like saskatoon berries, or strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries, where you could eat as much as you pick, this tart fruit tempted only an occasional taste as we filled the pails, as I filled on Janet’s stories…

…of the old family homestead an hour east of here, and the inherited section she still farms.

…of recipes and tips for cherry soup and jam and jelly and pie.

…of her husband’s short lived retirement because, when all is said and done, he thrives on his work.

…of her daughter returning home with her grandson and loving having him close by, happy to provide refuge for them both.

…of being a traditional prairie daughter, wife, sister and mother who loves her life.

 

When we finished, with fruit still on the tree,

and me as full as the pails,

with love for this woman’s generosity for sharing the bounty of her tree, her life,

I asked to hug her my thanks and my good-bye.

 

And as we embraced, I knew this to be the feeling of community

as she sweetly, wondrously whispered,

“I think I just made a friend.”

Tending with Grace

Quote

Sisters of the heart, my heart.

Each a sweet heart, dear heart.

 

Life

challenging them to dig down deep

inviting them to reach up high

for strength, and courage, and tenacity, and hope,

for clear heads and open hearts, when

 

Cruel concoction of cancer genes crushes newly hatched dreams.

Life long disease debilitates body, mind, speech and spirit.

Wave upon wave of endings tosses family like flotsam.

 

Sisters of the heart, my heart.

Each the eldest.

Knowing what that means, 

responsible, and caring, and achieving, and sensitive, and

 

Juggling onerous professional obligation

with overwhelming personal need

an attuned sense of balance for what is

right and true

good and beautiful

centred and aligned

for thee and thine.

 

I watch, and listen, and wonder

How does she do it?

Tending with grace, the near impossible.

 

How would I do it?

 

“…the ultimate touchstone of friendship is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them for however brief a span, on a journey impossible to accomplish alone.”

 

Tending with grace, my sisters of the heart.

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Quote from “Friendship,” in Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words, David Whyte, 2015.

Waging Beauty with Empty Shoes

Last October I co-hosted a small gathering for the community of practice alumni from my Leading in Emergence learning lab.  Six of us came together that last Wednesday morning of the month, in the warm and comfortable living room of one of our members, in, as Otto Scharmer writes, “a space for profound collaborative renewal.”

I was eager to prototype a simple reflective practice based on a recently acquired book, In Times of Terror, Wage Beauty by Mark Gonzales.  The title alone captivated me, both in that resonates with a deep knowing that beauty is an antidote, if not cure to the world’s pain and suffering, and with its paradoxical injunction to “wage” beauty, a verb often used with “war” and aggression. This simple and elegantly designed volume of brief ideas, observations, insights, and mantra-like wisdom speaks to the power of story, ancestors, empowered choice and bold action.

Each of us was invited bring an image of and reflect on an ancestor, mentor or respected elder.  In circle we shared a brief story of how that person’s life served as a beacon of inspiration.  We created a communal collage, dedicating our images and stories to the future.  Then, we closed by sharing our impressions of the beauty seen before us, held within, taken with us.  Below, the “caught” poem:

Waging Beauty: A Collage of the Imagined and Ineffable 

Gardens of colour transformed by garbage and utility into communities of wonder.

New growth in nature.

Connectedness building strength and vibrancy in empty shoes that belong to us all.

Resilience in a sense of place.

Wisdom in a world wise and enraptured by third eye seeing.

Sensing synchronicity that defies labels and logic and contrived manipulation.

Silence shared with strangers and near strangers.  The simplest beauty there is.

What strikes me now is the uncanny prescience, from that morning a month before, of the beauty waged in Paris, days after terror struck the city and killed over one hundred of its citizens enjoying their Friday evening.

empty shoes in Paris

MIGUEL MEDINA, VIA GETTY IMAGES

Ten thousand empty shoes silently displayed in the Place de la Republique on November 29, 2015, represented the peoples’ determination to “have” their voice in a symbolic march against climate change on the eve of the UN Climate Conference when their actual presence was forbidden due to safety and security concerns.

The strength and vibrancy in empty shoes that belong to us all.

A Gift To Self

…Inside everyone
is a great shout of joy
waiting to be born…

So let this winter
of listening
be enough
for the new life
I must call my own.

David Whyte – from The Winter of Listening

Soon the Winter Solstice will be upon us, the darkest day marking the return of the light and lengthening days.  In the past few years with less pressure to rush out the door to be at an office, I’ve come to welcome the invitation darker days bring, a “hunkering down and in.”  This year especially so as I enjoy our home, feeling new with the completion of a long-awaited kitchen and bath renovation and that fresh coat of paint, all creating a comfortable feng shui flow.  I can’t believe how much I’m loving cooking in our kitchen!

Wendy Townley Aldermarsh

Aldermarsh Skies by Wendy Townley

And I’ve just returned from my first ever writers’ retreat, held the first week of December on Whidbey Island.  Hosted by my circle teacher and friend, Christina Baldwin, and circle sister “travelpoet” Kristie McLean, attending Self As Source was a long awaited gift to self.  I imagined being in the Pacific Northwest in December – with its grey sodden skies, wind and rain, living among the cedars, firs and alders with owls and coyotes singing at night – would be the perfect ambiance for listening within and claiming myself, “writer. “ It did not disappoint.  After several days of preparation with gentle prompts and creative activities, our thirty-six silent hours found me sitting by the window tapping out an almost complete volume of love letters, as the rain tapped continously on the glass.  It was, as David Whyte writes, that “great shout of joy” inside, being born.

Now home to full weeks of deep listening to school leaders – helping them create inner space for the grief they hold for students and community whose memories of Christmas are painful; hosting the first of several leadership training circles for the staff of my local women’s shelter; tending to business matters left waiting during two quick trips to Whidbey Island; and making Christmas preparations, my love letters wait, much as our gentle Annie waits for me to rise from my desk and take her for a walk.

Each of the fourteen women in our circle realized that claiming time to write – to listen and tend to that great inside shout of joy, that new life that we must call our own – takes what we experienced in retreat – preparation, practice, discipline and allies, those who support us in doing what we know we must do, and yet…

I can’t keep those letters waiting, any more than I can keep Annie waiting.

It has me wonder:

What great inside shout of joy is waiting for you?

What new life needs the preparation, practice, discipline and allies to have you call it your own? 

While not Whidbey Island in the Pacific Northwest, Strawberry Creek Lodge in the aspen parkland an hour’s drive south of Edmonton has a similar warm ambiance for hunkering down and in.  There, I’ll be co-hosting Soul Spark with my friend, work mate and circle sister, Beth Sanders.

Soul SparkSoul Spark … An annual intimate winter retreat for ten people to step into the fire of doing the work and living the life they long for.  Whether you are in your early, mid, or encore career, here you will have the time and companionship to discern what and how to move forward.

Soul Spark … Strawberry Creek Lodge, a warm log cabin with quiet sitting spaces, a cozy fireplace around which we gather each day, silent walking trails, and delicious home cooked meals.

Soul Spark … February 16-19, 2016

Soul Spark … You are welcome.  Your place is waiting.

Wishing you the warm embrace of winter’s Solstice and Christmas and a new year full of promise.

 

Stepping into a Legacy of Learning

CP HostsIn late September I had the privilege of co-hosting with local friend and colleague, Beth Sanders, The Circle Way training practicum with founders and master circle practitioners, Ann Linnea and Christina Baldwin.  Seventeen people joined us, from Germany, Indiana, Minnesota, British Columbia, together with a strong local contingent.

Strawberry Creek Lodge welcomed and held us for the five days, providing nourishment for body and spirit, its simple and natural beauty – with acres of glowing golden aspens and towering spruce and pine, leaf-covered trails, beaver, moose, coyote and bird – creating the larger container into which we created our circle of intention, learning, curiosity, and compassion.

P1010046It was the second time such a circle had been called.  In 2011, the day before I departed for three months abroad, I emailed Ann and Christina wondering if they’d come to Edmonton to teach circle.  Then, too, seventeen of us gathered at Strawberry Creek Lodge in the glorious splendor of fall of 2012.  Then, intent to bring circle more fully into my personal and professional work, hardly would I have imagined this manifesting as co-teaching with Ann and Christina during their final off-site training.

In the weeks prior to this circle, in the moments between “skippering” our home’s renovation, I felt anxious, apprehensive even.  In counsel with a wise woman, she offered that of course, such would be the response to stepping into a legacy.  Relief with having been so deeply heard, with having received the “frame” for understanding and navigating this new role and context.  My choice of token to bring to the opening circle’s centre, the solid pewter sea urchin, its circular shape and surface covered with tiny circles, its weight signifying the gravitas of the occasion for me.

Kana Ishii Paszek Photography, 2015Together, we four held well the circle’s directions, energies, and teachings.  Together, we were both present to and in a grief that came in with this circle – supporting, shepherding and stewarding, with clarity, focus and compassion, several momentous transitions.  Together, we practiced and modeled a cornerstone Circle Way agreement: “ask for what you need, offer what you can.”

And in the end, after a mid-night of Northern Lights that shimmered in the brilliant sky, clear after a day of blustery wind and steady rain, the torches passed, marked by the green and orange “Glassy Baby” candles, gifts from Ann and Christina to Beth and me.

Now Beth and I mark our own stepping in to create a pattern of learning experiences for the next phase of our lives.  We hope you’ll join us for circle practicum trainings next spring and summer, and our newest (ad)venture, Soul Spark: Step Into the Fire of Doing the Work You Love to Do. Soul Spark

Heart Balm

It’s been a tough week.

On Monday we found ourselves having to make the “no choice choice” of escorting our beloved Peggy dog to her final visit to the vet.  Perhaps the kindest, most loving act, to give her the assistance to make this final transition.  Yet how I dreaded it.  How I often I had prayed these last weeks and months, “Please let her pass in her sleep, or as she sleeps beside me on the sofa in the morning.”  “Please help me know when the time has come for us to intervene.”

So Monday morning, after watching her the day before in the backyard, wandering blindly in circles, stumbling into rose bushes, entrapped in dogwood branches, right hind leg foot limping, and then distressed and agitated with having messed in her kennel as she slept that night, we knew the time had come.  We feared for her physical safety.  We knew the quality of her life was at an all-time low, she the once meticulous self groomer, now being restricted to the kitchen, the sofa, our office, her kennel.  We assumed she was in pain, though our little braveheart never complained. The Scientist made the call.  We held vigil as she slept in the living room sunbeam, told her repeatedly how much we loved her. Then the final drive, holding, whispers and kisses.  Now living the paradox of grief and relief, of feeling the fullness of her absence in every room of our home and hearts.  Gentle Annie, our five year old Setter, has been at a loss, never having lived without kennel mates.  And this is now the first time in over twenty years that we’ve shared our lives with only one “kid with fur.”

Come Wednesday, I co-hosted process at my monthly community of practice.  As no one had stepped in, I volunteered the week earlier before knowing how my week was to unfold. I was eager to experiment with an elegant and simple process I’d discovered and I knew this gathering would be a safe space in which to try.

Lectio Poetica is a contemporary re-working of the ancient practice called Lectio Divina, or sacred reading, wherein sacred texts were slowly whispered, repeated and contemplated to hear the small, quiet voice of the divine within.  During medieval times, it became formalized into four steps, or “movements,” and now, using poetry, into seven movements where grounding, considering one’s current life situation, posing a question, reading, reflecting, and deep listening to self and others bring insight and action.

I’ve relied on poetry both personally and professionally to help myself and others, find a way into and through the challenging, perplexing, complex and bitter-sweetness of life and work.  Little did I know it would be my heart’s balm that night.

Wednesday brought sunshine, warmth and the absence of most of our snow.  Eighteen of us convened in the St. James Room at a local church, a perfect place for what was to unfold.  As anticipated, the “right poem” arrived that morning, a “simple to recite and listen to” by Leonard Nathan, posted on Facebook by Parker Palmer:

So?

So you aren’t Tolstoy or St. Francis

or even a well-known singer

of popular songs and will never read Greek

or speak French fluently

will never see something no one else

has seen before through a lens

or with the naked eye.

 

You’ve been given just the one life

in this world that matters

and upon which every other life

somehow depends as long as you live,

and also given the costly gifts of hunger,

choice, and pain with which to raise

a modest shrine to meaning.

The warm and appreciative reception encouraged me to use the process as the cornerstone in next week’s session on self-care for social workers.  And I was inspired to set aside four Wednesday afternoons in April, and invite seven people to partake in a gently hosted circle, to create the space for “the ultimate meeting place.”

“It is said — here, now — that one of the great markers of spiritual kinship is a love for the same poetry. For if two souls are equally moved by the same pulsating constellation of metaphor and meaning, they are not only bound by a common language and a shared sensibility but also exist in the same dimension of truth and possibility. Poetry, after all, is the ultimate meeting place.” – Maria Popova, founder of Brain Pickings

You are welcome.  Your place is waiting.  Simply click here to register.

PS – Today we’re in the midst of Spring’s caprice, an Alberta snowstorm. Thinking about this post, I remembered phone photos I took of Peggy and Annie last year during a similar snowy spring morning.

Peggy Spring Snow 2014 TRIMAnnie Spring Snow 2014 TRIM